Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
