Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
