She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
