I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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