that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
