I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
