nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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