I am midnight drunk by noon
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
there is glitter all over my balls
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