he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize