Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
