i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
