I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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