Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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