I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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