I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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