I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
