i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
