Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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