She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
