you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
