you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
