I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
