Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
What a dumb baby whore.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize