I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
