U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
