I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
