She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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