I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
