"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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