just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize