Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
