A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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