i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
