ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
