Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This is classic penis vs brain.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize