the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
that's an acceptable place to lick
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize