My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
