Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just invented taco cereal.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
