She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
