He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
