Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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