I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
