the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
