It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize