I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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