Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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