You're my little dorito
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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