She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
