i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
