I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
