okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
