her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
