So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
