I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
