No, drunk sperm still make babies.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just want nice things and good sex
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
