Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
