I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
