At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
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