I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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