The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
