she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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