I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
