you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
