i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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