I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
my poor anus
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
