Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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