i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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