There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize