he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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