Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
