i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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