Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
