i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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