he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
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